Boom2Bust.com

Signs Of The Time, Part 25

From the Chicago Tribune’s Art Barnum last week:

A DeKalb lawyer was suspended for 15 months Thursday for arranging to have a female client perform nude dances for him in exchange for credit on her legal fees, a state commission said.

Scott Robert Erwin, a lawyer since 1980, will begin his suspension Oct. 7, according to the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission, a branch of the state Supreme Court that conducts investigations into attorney misconduct…

The relationship began in 2001 at Heartbreakers, a Compton, Ill., strip club where, after Erwin talked to an exotic dancer, both realized they had talked to each other over the telephone about some pending legal matters, according to the commission’s report of the allegations.

Erwin agreed to represent her on several legal matters, and they mutually agreed that she perform nude dances for him in his office as a way to cut down on the legal fees, according to the report…

The woman, who is no longer an exotic dancer, is married with three children and is a real estate agent, according to the report.

Ladies, start being suspicious when your man starts pushing you to buy one of her listings…

“Michael, stop drooling on my circuits”
“Knight Rider Stripper”
YouTube Video Link

Source:

“Stripper’s private dancing lands DeKalb lawyer in hot water”
Art Barnum
Chicago Tribune, September 19, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 24

From the Chicago Tribune website today:

A Northwest Indiana man facing drug charges allegedly told a police informant he’s charging customers an extra $25 because high gas prices have boosted his delivery expenses.

According to Porter County court records, 18-year-old Anthony Salinas of Hammond told a confidential source for the county’s drug task force in June that with rising gas prices, he had to add the extra charge to the $215 he allegedly was charging for 7.2 grams of cocaine.

Salinas then raised the price to $250 for what turned out to be 7.5 grams that he delivered in Portage on June 26, records state.

Salinas promised the price would drop to $230 on the next deal, according to records.

At least he’s grasped the concept of cutting the price to generate repeat business…

Cab Calloway, “Reefer Man” (1932)
YouTube Video Link

Source:

“Alleged coke dealer charges gas surtax”
Associated Press, September 18, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 22

Oh boy. Remember this debate back in the eighties and early nineties as the Japanese threat loomed large over Detroit? AOL Autos’ Kevin Ransom wrote on September 8:

A directive recently handed down by a Detroit-area suburban mayor has ignited the latest round of a seemingly endless debate — one that always burns with more intensity in the home of the Big Three than anywhere else.

It’s the debate that relates to cars goes something like this: “Buy American!” vs. “I’ll buy what I want!”…

This latest round of the discussion was inspired by a decision made by Jim Fouts, the mayor of Warren, Mich., a large Detroit suburb and Michigan’s third-largest city, and where a good portion of the residents are (or were) autoworkers.

In mid-August, Fouts told his department heads, which amount to 40 or 50 of the city’s more than 700 employees that he “expects” the next car they buy will be an American model. More to the point, he expects them to drive General Motors or Chrysler vehicles, since both companies have various manufacturing or assembly plants in Warren — not to mention GM’s sprawling Tech Center — and therefore are the city’s two highest taxpayers.

Fouts, who drives a 2001 Chrysler Concorde himself, isn’t being draconian about it. That is, he hasn’t ordered his appointees to run right out and dump their Hondas, Toyotas, Saabs or Audis immediately. “But I strongly suggested that the next car they buy should be an American one, and that I had an equally strong expectation that they will do so,” Fouts said. “Legally, since they are ‘at-will’ employees, I have the right to mandate, and an expectation that they will meet that mandate.”…

“I think of it as ‘economic patriotism.’”

Betty Boop Poster
Source: AllPosters.com

Source:

“Buy American or Get Out?”
Kevin Ransom
AOL Autos, September 8, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 19

Last summer, my 1995 Toyota Corolla was acting up so I took it to the shop. While waiting for the repair to be completed, another customer tried to make conversation with me. Trapped in the waiting room, this arrogant son of a b***ch felt compelled to point out to me how great his sport utility vehicle was, and actually had the nerve to call my ride “a piece of s**t.” Needless to say, it took every last bit of self-restraint to stop myself from pummeling this flaky Baby Boomer from the suburbs right then and there, so much so that the shop mechanics, who overheard the “conversation,” later told me they were getting ready to jump in lest I killed the guy in the waiting room. Not good business, obviously.

As for this fool’s beloved sport utility vehicles, well, the market has seen better days. This morning, CNBC’s Nick Bunkley wrote:

The market for sport utility vehicles is starting to look a lot like the housing market, spreading pain to consumers, automakers and dealers. Even the vocabulary is sadly familiar.

Bloated inventories? Days spent on the market? Well, in July, General Motors dealers had a 174-day supply of the Yukon XL/Suburban on hand, on average, up from a 92-day supply a year earlier.

Inventory of the Chevrolet C/K Suburban nearly doubled over the same period, to 116 days from 63 days.

Just like hapless homeowners, countless car owners are now “underwater,” driving vehicles that are worth less than the balance on their car loans.

And just like desperate homeowners, the sellers of SUVs are having to painfully cut asking prices.

Bunkley noted:

In their heyday, sport utility vehicles brought hefty profits to automakers.

But today those companies are slashing output and closing plants amid plummeting demand — only they cannot act fast enough to prevent a logjam of the vehicles already produced and in the pipeline. Sales of SUVs are down 32 percent so far this year, and were off 43 percent for July.

It’s not like dealers haven’t been lowering prices to get rid of these things. From the CNBC piece:

On average, new sport utility vehicles sold for 20 percent below sticker price in July, according to Edmunds.com, a Web site that gives car-buying advice to consumers.

That, in turn, has decimated prices for used SUVs. Ultimately, car companies are the ones that will pay, because they will have the new SUVs on their hands as well as the used and leased ones.

As for hapless SUV owners trying to unload their vehicles these days? Bunkley offered up a typical example of what they’re finding in the marketplace:

For instance, Michael Kohan, a recent graduate of Hofstra University’s law school, decided that hundreds of dollars a month filling up his 2006 Land Rover LR3 would be better spent paying down his student loans.

He calculated that his vehicle — loaded with luxuries like a navigation system, xenon lights, parking assist sensors, heated leather seats and three sunroofs — should be worth at least $31,000, according to the Kelley Blue Book.

But with a V-8 engine that gets only about 14 miles per gallon, Mr. Kohan, 24, decided to list his LR3 on eBay and Craigslist for $18,000. And yet, he told a reporter this week, “As low as I set the price, you’re the first person to call.”

My question is, what is a 24-year-old doing driving around a luxury SUV like a Land Rover?

Source:

“The SUV Market Has Collapsed”
Nick Bunkley
CNBC, August 13, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 18

Okay, so the following story doesn’t take place in the United States. But I’ve encountered quite a few kids here with— how should I put this— unique-sounding names. The Irish Times’ Mary Fitzgerald wrote last week:

A JUDGE in New Zealand has deplored the use of unusual children’s names after he made a nine-year-old girl called Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii a ward of court so her unfortunate moniker could be changed at her request.

Some of the rather creative names allowed by New Zealand registration officials and criticised by Judge Rob Murfitt include Number 16 Bus Shelter and Midnight Chardonnay. The judge described as “tragic” the decision to register one child under the name Violence.

The parents of twins were permitted to name their offspring Benson and Hedges, after the cigarette brand.

Among the names rejected by registration officials were Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit. One mother even attempted to use SMS language for her daughter’s name.

And we wonder why some kids are soooooo screwed up…

“Championship Manager Kid”
YouTube Video Link

Source:

“Parents lose custody for calling daughter Talula Does The Hula”
Mary Fitzgerald
Irish Times, July 29, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 17

We must be nearing the end. Earlier tonight, I was watching a local news station here in Chicago when they did a segment on the new Black Canary Barbie Doll that is scheduled to be released in September. And just why is a grown man talking about Barbie dolls? Well, take a look for yourself…

Definitely not the same Barbie the girls were playing with when I was young. According to BarbieCollector.com:

DC Comics super heroine Black Canary is known for her martial-arts skills and her “Canary Cry” — a high powered, sonic scream with the ability to shatter objects and incapacitate villains. Barbie doll captures this super heroine’s essence, wearing her signature black “leather” bodysuit and jacket, patterned tights, and black boots with “golden” details. Long honey blond hair with bangs and black gloves with “golden” details complete the look.

Tights? Try fishnets. The station’s affiliate in Southern California interviewed a few people about Barbie’s new look. The words “tramp,” “Goth,” and “S&M” came to mind. One woman mentioned that the toy company was trying to get the young “handlers” of Barbie to grow up too soon.

What’s next for the product line? Transvestite Barbie?

Dr. Frank-N-Furter
“Rocky Horror Picture Show” (1975)

Signs Of The Time, Part 16

Attention, all you restaurant and bar owners out there. Need some new ideas for promoting the business? How about some free publicity? Earlier today, CNN Money’s Christina Crapanzano talked about how one Phoenix restaurant/bar is capitalizing on the slowing economy. Crapanzano wrote:

Are some of your customers worried about losing their homes? Take a tip from Cole Durbin, owner of Padre’s Modern Mexican in Phoenix, and let them know that you’re on their side.

Like restaurants across the country - from Table 8 in Los Angeles to Liberty Bar in Hoboken, N.J. - Durbin is offering up a Recession Happy Hour. But he has added a twist: Anyone who arrives at Padre’s with a foreclosure notice can have any drink on the menu [for free].

Crapanzano said that nobody has taken Durbin up on his offer yet (although it’s only been a couple of weeks since the promotion began). But she also noted that Arizona ranks third on the list of leading foreclosure states, according to RealtyTrac, an online marketer of foreclosed properties. So it may be just a matter of time before there are takers.

Regardless, look at all the free publicity he’s getting from appearing on CNN Money’s website.

According to Durbin, Padre’s will be offering additional promotions this summer. Next up will be free rides to and from the restaurant on Saturday nights for those deterred by the high price of gasoline.

See You There

Source:

“Tequila and sympathy: Bars offer foreclosure special”
Christina Crapanzano
CNN Money, July 15, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 15

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these. Try not to get too disturbed from reading the following…

From the Wall Street Journal today:

The next time you’re at a spa and the robe-clad guest next to you looks awfully young, it may not be the anti-aging treatments. She may actually still be in junior high.

That is because more spas are luring the kid and teen set. They are offering everything from teen packages with grown-up treatments like massages and body scrubs to kid-friendly services such as ice-cream themed pedicures (complete with a cone to eat).

Spas say they are responding to increasing demand among parents, especially from Moms who themselves enjoy spa pampering and want to share the experience with their daughters. Spas also clearly see an opportunity with the kiddie market: Hooking kids on pricey pedicures and facials when they are young can lead to decades of repeat business. Tapping these new markets is particular crucial these days, as the spa industry is seeing revenue slip: Revenue in the U.S. spa industry fell to $9.4 billion in 2006, from $9.7 billion in 2005, according to the International SPA Association, an industry trade group.

I wonder which costs more over time— being hooked on spas or hooked on drugs?

And from the New York Times News Service this afternoon:

GREENWICH, Conn.- Vincent Provenzano, 16 years old, experienced his Kevin Costner moment one Sunday afternoon in May after a thrilling day of Wiffle ball in a friend’s backyard. He came home, gazed at a field of weeds, brush and poison ivy in an empty lot off Riverside Lane, turned to his friend Justin Currytto, 17, and proclaimed: “If we build it, they will come.”

After three weeks of clearing brush and poison ivy, scrounging up plywood and green paint, digging holes and pouring concrete, Vincent, Justin and about a dozen friends did manage to build it — a tree-shaded Wiffle ball version of Fenway Park complete with a 12-foot-tall green monster in center field, American flag by the left-field foul pole and colorful signs for Taco Bell Frutista Freezes.

But, alas, they had no idea just who would come — youthful Wiffle ball players, yes, but also angry neighbors and their lawyer, the police, the town nuisance officer and tree warden and other officials in all shapes and sizes. It turns out that one kid’s field of dreams is an adult’s dangerous nuisance, liability nightmare, inappropriate usurpation of green space, unpermitted special use or drag on property values, and their Wiffle-ball Fenway has become the talk of Greenwich and a suburban Rorschach test about youthful summers past and present.

A local government official chimed in:

“People can remember how much fun it was to go out in the woods in the summer, build a fort, do something fun and creative, so there’s something pretty cool in what these kids did, especially at a time kids grow up in such an incredibly structured and stressful environment,” said Lin Lavery, one of three Greenwich selectmen, who inherited Wifflegate while the first selectman, Greenwich’s version of mayor, is on vacation.

“But we have a situation that’s escalated,” Lavery said. “Neighbors are upset that it’s too close to their property; building has been done on town property; there are issues of traffic and drainage. We’re hoping to come up with a compromise, but there are a lot of issues to address.”

According to Peter Applebome, the author of the piece, the Lt. Governor’s office has now been dragged into Wifflegate.

Unbelievable. Kids will always be kids. Fact is, however, they’re trespassing (as kids usually do). Either let them play on— which probably won’t happen these days because of liability issues and ambulance chasers— or make a phone call to public works. “Little Fenway” would be toast in less than an hour. Maybe even faster if there was a Yankees fan assigned to that crew.  That’s that.  End of story. 

As for the kids. Well… let this be a lesson to you:

A good number of American adults these days are two sandwiches short of a picnic.

That includes me… I just hide it well.

Sources:

“Spas Go All Out To Give Kids The Treatment”
Miriam Jordan, Andrea Petersen
Wall Street Journal, July 10, 2008

“Wiffle-ball dream becomes field of lawsuits”
Peter Applebome
New York Times News Service, July 10, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 14

Baseball. Once America’s national pastime (before suing anything with a pulse became all the rage). Who would have ever thought that the sport, in any way, would be connected to the ongoing housing bust here in the United States? According to Reuters’ Jill Serjeant yesterday, former baseball star Jose Canseco said on Thursday he had lost his California mansion to foreclosure. Apparently, Canseco, now 43, told the celebrity television show “Inside Edition” that it did not make financial sense to keep his 7,300 square-foot home in Encino, a Los Angeles suburb. The show said it had foreclosure documents showing that the six-time all-star owed a bank more than $2.5 million on the house. Canseco said:

I do have a judgment on my home and it to me is very strange because it didn’t make financial sense for me to keep paying a mortgage on a home that was basically owned by someone else.

Sound familiar?

The Reuters reporter wrote:

Canseco said the foreclosure was not a difficult issue emotionally. But he sympathized with the millions of other Americans who have already lost, or face losing their homes, because of soaring interest rates on sub-prime loans.

“I decided to just let it go, but in most cases and most families, they have nowhere else to go,” he said.

According to Serjeant, Canseco said a good portion of the money he earned during his time in the major leagues went to pay for his divorces. “I had a couple of divorces that cost me $7 or $8 million,” the two-time World Series champion said.

Source:

“Baseball star Canseco loses home to foreclosure”
Jill Serjeant
Reuters, May 1, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 13

Remember those days when you would go to a local eatery like Chili’s or Applebee’s, and leave feeling like Violet from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory? They may be gone for quite some time. David Segal of the Washington Post wrote Sunday:

Pinched by soaring food costs on the one hand and a recession-fearing public on the other, the restaurant industry is getting crafty. Chefs are tinkering with recipes, swapping out expensive ingredients for cheaper ones. Managers are using behavioral science research to retool menus—putting high-profit items in the top right-hand corner, for instance, where diners tend to look first.

And many restaurants are putting the great American portion—a monstrosity by international standards—on a diet, as surreptitiously as possible. Many restaurants are buying smaller plates to make the reduced servings look just as large, or lighter silverware so that even if there are fewer bites per serving, each bite feels heavier than usual on the fork. A la carte portions of high-priced dishes are getting pared back and surrounded by low-cost starches and vegetables.

Segal explained that restaurants aren’t doing this on behalf of their patrons’ health. Rather, they’re cost-cutting measures. He wrote:

There is little risk that portion shrinkage will cause anyone to lose weight any time soon. That’s because the point isn’t to slim us down or lower our cholesterol. It’s to save money in a business that many think is already in recession. A recent National Restaurant Association survey found that 46 percent of members reported declines in traffic in February over the previous month, not to mention “a record-low reading in restaurant operators’ outlook and expectations.”

Great. I hate waiting to be seated anyway…

“How much for one rib?”
YouTube Video Link

Source:

“Using portions to keep control of bottom line”
David Segal
Washington Post, April 20, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 12

Ever hear of Serendipity 3, New York City’s first coffee house boutique? Well, this establishment, located in Manhattan’s Upper East Side, boasts a dessert listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. In 2004, Serendipity 3 celebrated their 50th anniversary by introducing the Golden Opulence Sundae, which costs $1,000 and requires 48 hours advance notice to make. Could be all that edible 23K gold used in the concoction. Anyway, proprietor Stephen Bruce was on the Travel Channel the other night talking about the establishment and the sundae (which can still be found in the menu). He told a story about a woman who brought her daughter to Serendipity 3 for her 16th birthday, where the two decided to share a $1,000 sundae. Bruce said that while eating the record-breaking ice cream, the girl’s mother declared, “Well, that will show my neighbors.”

Two possibilities here:
1) Inferiority complex
2) Severe case of keeping up with the Joneses

Then again, could be both…

Too much Golden Opulence Sundae

Signs Of The Time, Part 11

You know American homebuilders are facing tough times when one of their affiliated organizations must sell their headquarters due to a lack of funds. According to the Associated Press yesterday, three years after moving into its new $3.5 million headquarters, the Home & Building Association of Greater Grand Rapids is selling the building. According to the piece:

Chief Executive Judy Barnes said the association is hampered by the weak economy, a sluggish residential building industry and declining membership. That triple whammy resulted in some pledges made toward paying for construction of the 15,000-square-foot headquarters going unfulfilled…

“Like the rest of our industry, it is a little slow right now,” John Overbeck, president of the association’s board of directors, told The Grand Rapids Press. “We’ve looked at it for the last year and a half, done everything we could to weigh our decision.”

Membership and staff numbers have reflected the fortunes of the U.S. housing market these past few years. When the trade group moved to the new headquarters in March 2005, it had more than 1,200 members and 19 employees. Later that year (and at the peak of the housing market), membership grew to around 1,400. Since that time, numbers have fallen to 980 members and 10 staffers.

Source:

“Home builders selling its posh headquarters”
Associated Press, April 6, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 10

Bad news, NASCAR fans. Looks like the slowing economy and high gas prices are starting to take its toll on the automotive sport. Auto Racing Daily ran a story today with the headline “US Economy, Gas Prices Causing Financial Pain In NASCAR,” and said:

I hope this isn’t the beginning of the end for Petty.

There are several NASCAR teams looking for sponsorship and the current economic climate could be making that search more difficult. It’s disturbing to see teams that have been the foundation of the sport facing the possibility of having to stand on the street corner holding a “Will Drive For Food” sign.

I’m hoping Petty Enterprises will get a financial infusion if a deal to partner with a New York-based financial group goes through. Let’s face it, NASCAR without the Pettys would be like Chevy without the bowtie or Ford without the blue oval.

When the good times rolled…

Source:

“US Economy, Gas Prices Causing Financial Pain In NASCAR”
Auto Racing Daily, April 3, 2008

Signs Of The Time, Part 9

You’ve got to hand it to J.G. Wentworth. As cheesy as their commercials may be— they’re catchy. Even if they send the wrong message sometimes…

A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend’s cousin put on a birthday party for her son Robbie, who turned 5-years-old. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend. However, I was told that in one of his birthday cards little Robbie received a $2 bill. Seeing that Robbie was still opening his cards and presents, Robbie’s dad took the $2 bill away and told the birthday boy he would hold onto the money for safekeeping. Furious, Robbie screamed out:

“It’s MY money, and I want it NOW!!!”

Somehow, I don’t think Robbie’s parents are big fans of J.G. Wentworth right now…